How did you manage to stay single for so long?

Single Handedly

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Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

How do the people of northern Iraq manage to get so much done?

The Kurds have their ways

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What's the first step of fire safety?

4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.

How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar?

They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years.