How do I do that?

he asked. "Carefully" replied the vet.

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What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

Why aren't you studying, Billy?

Billy's Mom asked him, "Well, why aren't you studying, Billy? You have an exam tomorrow!" Billy said, "Because I've already Reddit thrice."

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Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

What did the dog say to the vet that just castrated him?

No hard feelings.

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What'll it be, love?

The woman replies, "I'll take a double entendre." So he gave it to her.

How long will the pizza be?

The waiter replies "About 12 inches."