Vet Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

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What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

Why did the dog go to the vets?

He was pawly. I'm sorry. I'll see myself out.

What did the dog say to the vet that just castrated him?

No hard feelings.

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

What does a dog get at the vet?

FIXED

Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

There were too many vets.

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

How do you know your dog's cancer is really bad?

If the vet says it's mutt-astasized.

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How do I do that?

he asked. "Carefully" replied the vet.

Why are we at the vet?

Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch

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Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

There were too many vets.

Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers?

The steaks were getting too damn high.

Vietnam Vet Jokes More Vietnam Vet Jokes

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?

YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!

How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!! YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN!!

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine?

The hippocampus.

What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but only if the lightbulb really to change.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many reddit users did it take to screw on a light bulb?

They could not do it, they are all autistic.

How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two! one to change the light bulb and the other to rotate the universe!

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why do Asian parents never have a white baby?

Cause two Wongs don't make a white

Why didn't Edward get on the plane?

Cause it was snowed-in.

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

Why did the kid only water half the lawn?

Because there was a 50% chance of rain

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony