How do you fix a monkey?

With a Monkey Wrench!

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Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)

What do you call a monkey in a minefield?

A BABOOM!

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

What do you need to fix it?

Asparagus. (A spare, I guess)

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

Monkey Wrench Jokes More Monkey Wrench Jokes

How do you fix a monkey?

With a Monkey Wrench!

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?

With a monkey wrench.