How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

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How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common?

They both got accepted to Yale.

Harvard Graduate Jokes More Harvard Graduate Jokes

How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.