Harvard Jokes

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

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How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

How do you know someone went to Harvard?

They tell you.

What do Harvard and a virgin have in common?

You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.

How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard?

They'll tell you.

What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common?

They both got accepted to Yale.

What do all Yale and Harvard students have in common?

They got into Yale.

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

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How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

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Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

Why didn't Spock do a mind meld with Frodo?

Because he figured that would be a bad hobbit to get in to.

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

Graduate Jokes More Graduate Jokes

What do you call a Med School student who graduates with all C's?

A Doctor.

What does the Philosophy major say a year after he graduates?

Would you like fries with that "

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When in Rome do as the Romans you know?

Slaughters entire office and imposes grain taxes on peasantry

How do you know if somebody does crossfit?

They are probably in better shape than you.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

How did Jeffrey Dahmer make alphabet soup?

With 26 characters he met at a party.

Why did the T-Rex fail his business project?

He couldn't make hands meet.

Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

What do they call a virgin down in the south?

Faster than her brother!

How do you say "virgin" in Dutch?

Goodentight

Doorstep Jokes More Doorstep Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep?

Mat

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep?

You pay for the pizza.

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

When do accountants laugh out loud?

When somebody asks for a raise

What do you do if somebody dies Christmas Eve?

Wait 12 hours and have Christmas Mourning

Yale Jokes More Yale Jokes

What do all Yale and Harvard students have in common?

They got into Yale.

What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common?

They both got accepted to Yale.