Harvard Jokes

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

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How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

How do you know someone went to Harvard?

They tell you.

What do Harvard and a virgin have in common?

You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.

How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard?

They'll tell you.

What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common?

They both got accepted to Yale.

What do all Yale and Harvard students have in common?

They got into Yale.

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

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How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

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World Jokes More World Jokes

Who's the world most famous blacksmith?

Will Smith

How many lead guitarists does it take to change lightbulb?

One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him.

Graduate Jokes More Graduate Jokes

What do you call a Native American who graduated from medical school?

A doctor you racist

Who is a Graduate student's least favorite Greek Hero?

Thesus

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

to get to the other side

How many frames per second does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 because that's peasants work.

Harvard Graduate Jokes More Harvard Graduate Jokes

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What's the difference between a liberal arts major and a pizza?

The pizza can feed a family.

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

Yale Jokes More Yale Jokes

What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common?

They both got accepted to Yale.

Where did the pirate go to college?

Yale. He was rejected from H**arrrr**vard.

Black Person Jokes More Black Person Jokes

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of 4.

Why did the black person cross the road?

To fry the chicken.

Tip Jokes More Tip Jokes

How much does a moil get paid?

A: Fifty dollars and a tip.

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!