How do you get a kid out from a microwave?

Please answer before my wife gets home!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why did the kid only water half the lawn?

Because there was a 50% chance of rain

Why not ask the guy who took that picture?

Just kidding, I ran over it.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

How did a blind woman pierce her ear?

A: Answering the stapler.

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

What happens when you put a soul-singing duck in a microwave?

It's Bill Withers.

Where do fleas go to surf?

A: To the microwave.