How do you identify a vegan?

Listen closely.

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What do all battered women have in common?

In a frustrated voice) They just don't listen.

What did the robot say to the gas pump?

Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me!" I saw this in a Highlights magazine when I was a kid.

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What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

How do you know whether somebody is a vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

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What do you call a white woman that identifies as black?

TransRachel - credit Jennie

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin