How do you interrupt a vegans dinner?

Just turn on the sprinkler.

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How do you turn soup to gold?

Add 24 carrots

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

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What do you call a president who interrupts people?

Donald Tr- WRONG!

How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.