How do you make an ugly kid?

Go ask your mother Courtesy of a hot dog vendor in Atlanta

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What does Ron Howard ask before watersports?

You down with Opie pee

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One."

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When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be?

Will I be pretty Will I be rich Here's what she said to me No

What's worse than your mother-in-law?

My mother-in-law.

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How do you make an ugly kid?

Go ask your mother Courtesy of a hot dog vendor in Atlanta

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

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How many existentialists does it take to change a light-bulb?

Two, one to change the light-bulb, and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness. This is courtesy of Spencer Reid.(CM)

What happens if you drop a blue marble in the Red Sea?

It sinks. (Courtesy of my 9 year old daughter)

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How do you make an ugly kid?

Go ask your mother Courtesy of a hot dog vendor in Atlanta

Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity?

Because all of their broads are in Atlanta