How do you make two Oboists play in tune with one another?

Shoot one of them.

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What do they call Bro Chads in the U.K.?

Bloke chaps. Play me off Johnny!

Why don't matches play baseball?

A: One strike, and they're out.

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What happens when a feminist shoots a gun?

The gun gets triggered.

Why did the police shoot the black insomniac?

He resisted a rest.

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How do you tune a fish?

With its scales!

How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.