Tune Jokes

How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Why did Sally the stripper stop dating the guitar player?

He kept trying to tune her G string.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?

You can tune a chainsaw.

How do you make two Oboists play in tune with one another?

Shoot one of them.

What was Beethoven's favorite food?

BA-NA-NA-NAAA!!!!! (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.

What's the definition of a quarter tone?

A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What's the difference between tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right ... the tuna fish!

What type of fish needs to be tuned?

Tune a fish

How do you tune a fish?

With its scales!

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?

A: The bow is moving.

Why did Walt Disney visit a mechanic?

He wanted to get his Car tuned

What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?

A: A chainsaw can be tuned.

What does a tuna, a glue stick, and a piano have not have in common?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna"fish!

Why do choirs keep buckets handy?

So they can carry their tune

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What did they start calling Kim Jong Un after he shed 60 kgs in weight?

Kim Jong Un what you thought it was Slim Jong Un? Sorry but you are not allowed to make puns on your supreme leader's name in North Korea

How do black people die from a drive by?

Everytime someone screams "get down! " they stand up and start dancing!

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What's the difference between LSD and my dad?

LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.

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What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?

He died in his teepee

What happens when a Pokemon goes through puberty?

It's bells sprout.

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What does a baby mouse say to its mother after seeing a bat?

Look mom, an angel!

How many angels can a pinhead dance on?

To hold up their pants.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing?

Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally :)

Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore?

There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot

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What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number?

Nought two sixty.

What time is it when you sit on a pin?

Spring time.

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How do you stop a mexican tank?

You shoot the guy pushing it.

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot in the foxhole?

Because Donald ducked.

Bagpipe Jokes More Bagpipe Jokes

What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?

A: No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe.

What do you call ten sets of bagpipes at the bottom of the sea?

A start.