Angel Jokes

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

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Why women prefer devils instead of angels?

Because devils are horny.

This joke may have profanity.

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

How many angels can a pinhead dance on?

To hold up their pants.

What do you call the angel in charge of hydroelectrics?

A God dam engineer.

What do you call a woman in heaven?

An Angel A crowd of women in heaven - A host of Angels And all women in heaven - PEACE ON EARTH!

What happened when the two angels got married?

They lived harpily ever after!

What did one angel say to the other?

Halo."

How do angels greet each other?

They say Halo.

Why did the angel lose her job?

She had harp failure.

How do you talk to an angel" Me: I don't know, Skype I guess?

How do you hold her close to where you are" Me: Aren't most angels men

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What did the angel say when he saw God make the element Phosphorus?

It's a match made in Heaven!

Whoa- is that Elvis?

Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators

What does a baby mouse say to its mother after seeing a bat?

Look mom, an angel!

Where'd he go?

and the angel said, "He's at IHOP for never-ending pancakes" and they were like, "Word."

How's your wife been?

Harry...."She's an angel, how about yours " Bob...."Egh, mine is still alive."

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman?

To one you say, "Hey you, get off my cloud!" The other: "Hey McLoed, get off my ewe!"

What is the best nickname for a nun in heaven?

If you guessed "Heaven nun" or "Angel nun" you're wrong. The answer was "Nun of the Above".

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What do you say when you get swindled by an Egyptian tour guide?

Egypt me!

What do you call a fart from an Egyptian stranger?

Toot uncommon

Devil Jokes More Devil Jokes

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Why does the devil get such a bad rap?

Because like everyone in marketing, he always lets his own stuff slide...

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What is cleverer than a talking cat ?

A spelling bee !

Why can't you talk to spiders who get shut in pianos?

They'll B flat

Adam Jokes More Adam Jokes

What did the snake day to Adam after he bit the apple?

You owe Eve an O.

What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?

A. They really raised Cain.

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

Which wrestler's weakness is the rain?

Dwayne Johnson

Why did the cloud get $10M for having a fight?

He was the raining champion.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

Baseball Game Jokes More Baseball Game Jokes

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?

4 the home team

Ucla Jokes More Ucla Jokes

What happens when the fog lifts in California?

UCLA.

What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?

UCLA