How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

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How can you tell if the code is broken?

SW Engineering joke) If India worked on it

Why do you hate me?

me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

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Why is Microsoft going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7.. 8.. 9

What has got 8 legs and 1 eye?

2 chairs and a half of a fish.

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How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?

The lightbulb works fine...

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.