How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do I tell them apart?

Her brother has a moustache.

Why are you home so early?

Me: My boss told me to go to hell

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Which character do you most identify with?

Ross 8. Which is your least favorite character Ross

Why isn't there a Windows 9?

Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?" "Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

Why are you so ugly?

Boy: I'm you from the future.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.