Future Jokes

What do you call a black rapper with no future?

Future

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Why aren't there any mexicans in star trek?

They don't work in the future either.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future?

Psychic-delic.

What do you call a man who can smell the future?

Nostrildamus

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

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How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?

The lightbulb works fine...

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future?

The iPhone Ayyyye-t

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Why are you so ugly?

Boy: I'm you from the future.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

What do you call a morbidly obese person who can predict the future?

A four-chin teller.

What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?

The future

What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future?

Cristobal

Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek?

Because it's the future

What do you call a hacker who can see the future?

A 4chan teller.

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

because their future is so bright

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out. :)

Why are there no Puerto Rican's in Star Trek?

They won't work in the future either.

Why aren't there any republicans in Star-Trek?

Because it's the future.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

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Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What do snotty vegetables do when they see something they don't like ?

They 'turnip' their noses.

What did Jesus say to the man with leprocy?

OOPS! GOT YOUR NOSE!

People Jokes More People Jokes

What is the difference between a sociopath and a buddhist?

A sociopath sees people as things a buddhist sees things as people.

What do people in Arkansas do for Halloween?

Pump kin.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did Jesus say after he healed the blind man?

Made you look!

What was Jesus' favorite sport?

Crossfitting.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why was schrodinger's cat in trouble with the law?

I don't know, but he was wanted dead and alive.

What are your expectations?

Me : Job. Interviewer : I mean what do you want from this job Me : Salary

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

Who's the laziest doctor at the hospital?

Doctor Dolittle

What famous pig actor made a movie about Frankenswine?

Boaris Karloff.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why women fail at saving money?

Have you ever seen a money-box (piggy bank) with a hole at the bottom...

How do you save a pirate's life?

C P Arrr!

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

Why do women love the smell of babies so much?

Because 50% of the taste is in the smell.

What is green and smells like pork?

Kermit The Frog's finger.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence?

Liver alone, cheese mine!

What do you call a Mexican who's car got stolen?

Carlos.