Future Jokes

What do you call a black rapper with no future?

Future

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Why aren't there any mexicans in star trek?

They don't work in the future either.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future?

Psychic-delic.

What do you call a man who can smell the future?

Nostrildamus

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

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How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?

The lightbulb works fine...

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future?

The iPhone Ayyyye-t

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Why are you so ugly?

Boy: I'm you from the future.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

What do you call a morbidly obese person who can predict the future?

A four-chin teller.

What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?

The future

What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future?

Cristobal

Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek?

Because it's the future

What do you call a hacker who can see the future?

A 4chan teller.

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

because their future is so bright

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out. :)

Why are there no Puerto Rican's in Star Trek?

They won't work in the future either.

Why aren't there any republicans in Star-Trek?

Because it's the future.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why don't many buddhists work in the railroad industry?

they have too many ohms to be good conductors.

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

Release Jokes More Release Jokes

Whom hath released the hounds?

Whom Whom Whom Whom

How do you get people to pirate an album?

Release it on TIDAL

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why couldn't the hipsters save the hippies?

They were too far out.

What saved the ship?

flambuoyancy"

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are people with celiac disease more likely to get into heaven?

Because they reject setian.

What do you call a group of people from Idaho?

Deydahoes.

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

How do you like your new teacher ?

Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one !

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

Vision Jokes More Vision Jokes

Why would people always stand still to hide from Martin Luther King Jr.?

His vision was based on movements.

What kind of vision does Fetty Wap have?

17/38

Black Rapper Jokes More Black Rapper Jokes

What's the difference between Santa Claus and A Black Rapper?

Santa stops after three hoes.

What do you call a black rapper with no future?

Future

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do you call am alligator in a vest?

An illogical situation imagined by a child.

What is small, crying and cannot get under the table?

A child with pitchfork in his back