Future Jokes

What do you call a black rapper with no future?

Future

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Why aren't there any mexicans in star trek?

They don't work in the future either.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future?

Psychic-delic.

What do you call a man who can smell the future?

Nostrildamus

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

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How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?

The lightbulb works fine...

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future?

The iPhone Ayyyye-t

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Why are you so ugly?

Boy: I'm you from the future.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

What do you call a morbidly obese person who can predict the future?

A four-chin teller.

What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?

The future

What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future?

Cristobal

Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek?

Because it's the future

What do you call a hacker who can see the future?

A 4chan teller.

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

because their future is so bright

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out. :)

Why are there no Puerto Rican's in Star Trek?

They won't work in the future either.

Why aren't there any republicans in Star-Trek?

Because it's the future.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

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Frame Jokes More Frame Jokes

Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum?

Too many frames.

Why did the picture plead innocent at the trial?

It was framed.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

Why can't women explain feminism to men?

Because they need a man to do it for them

Release Jokes More Release Jokes

Why hasn't Nintendo released a Mario themed basketball video game?

Because Japan isn't good at basketball.

What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?

An increase in battery cases.

Old People Jokes More Old People Jokes

What kid of music do old people listen to?

Hip-Pop

Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a Pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four. Im sorry if I've offended any pizzas.

Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match?

Because they rain supreme.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and a Mexican?

Jesus didn't have a bunch of tattoos of a Mexican...

What do you call a carpenter who needs fewer nails?

Jesus

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!

Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What did the guy without hands get for christmas?

We don't know, he hasn't opened the present yet

How do you know when Santa Claus is nearby ?

You can feel his presents ...