What did the guy without hands get for christmas?

We don't know, he hasn't opened the present yet

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call someone who is known for being heartless and cold to others?

Dead

What's ur emergency?

Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what Goldfish: WHO IS THIS Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What is your favourite type of birthday present?

Another present!

How did SkyMall go bankrupt?

I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why was the man allergic to Christmas?

Because it's the reason for the sneason.

Why is it so cold at Christmas?

It's in Decembrrrrr.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset?

Because you didn't ask him what band he's in.

How does a Muslim get a hot date?

He puts it in the microwave. EDIT: Looks like you guys are real dim....

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How did Pinocchio realize he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

Why were the bakers hands brown?

Because he kneeded a poo

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What do you do when your car is making a really annoying noise?

Open the door and kick her out.

What bank do birds open accounts with?

The one with the most branches!