Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?

x-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.

What Would Beyonce Do?

Would she apply for a job Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

How do you a convert a number to a radical?

You convert it to Islam.

What is the best thing to take when you're run over?

The number of the car that hit you.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!"

Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.