Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend?

Because every day is a sadder-day.

What's the difference between the wind and a blonde?

Some days the wind doesn't blow.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

How many Heisenbergs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

If you know the number, you don't know where the socket is.

Why is 7 afraid of 8?

It's not, numbers don't have emotions.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!"

Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.