Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How is Jesus different from other carpenters?

Unlike other carpenters, Jesus may actually return one day

What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What does the number 668 represent?

The of the Beast.

What do I do?

Someone else yells "Call 911!" The blonde yells back "What's the number "

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.