How does a man show he's planning for t...

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?

The thief was spending less then his wife.

Why can't the man take his job seriously?

Because he's a clown! Buh bum tis

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where can you buy a 3 headed flying purple camel with 74 noses?

Ebay.

How do hipsters buy their drugs?

by the instagram.

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

What did Chris Christie say when asked if he had plans to run in the 2016 presidential election?

After giving it a substantial amount of thought and discussing it with my advisors, I've decided against it. I mean, I'd love to, and I appreciate those who'd support me, but I feel like I wouldn't be able to take the stress mentally- and physically." After being asked what physical stress he'd experience, he responded: "I don't think I'd be able to handle that much running."

Why did the melon plan a big elaborate wedding?

Because he cantaloupe.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

How many men does it take to open a can of beer?

None. She should have opened it as she brought it to you.

How was the Irish Jig invented?

To much beer and not enough bathrooms

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

What would you do?

Two policemen call the station on the radio. "Hello. Is that you Sarge?" "Yes?" "We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean." "Have you arrested the woman?" "No sir. The floor is still wet.