What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four

What's the difference between tired and exhausted?

When you run in front of a car you get tired. When you run behind a car you get exhausted.

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.