Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why is Kevin Hart the opposite of Michael Schumacher?

His life improved after he met the rock.

Where have you been all my life?

Please go back there.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

What is the American national day for vampires?

Fangsgiving Day.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What's three times worse than OCD?

OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...

Why did the dog feel insecure in her bathing suit?

She was a little husky.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...