What does one chauvinist say to the other?

There's a thousand things I'd like to do in my life, and those are just the pretty ones!

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What did Earth say to the Sun?

My life revolves around you!

What is it called when a Redditor writes about his life?

A meme-oir

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What's a hillbillies favorite holiday? Halloween.... Do you want to know why?

Because they like to pump kin.

How do you know if someone doesn't like Football and isn't going to watch the Super Bowl?

They'll tell you

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What does one chauvinist say to the other?

There's a thousand things I'd like to do in my life, and those are just the pretty ones!

How many Chauvinists does it take to Change a Lightbulb?

None, because chauvinists can't change anything.