because they are set in the future.
The Grand I-slam
Change their name to past tense, WASWAS.
ME, SECRETLY TRYING TO HARVEST HER INK: Something super scary *I empty my popcorn bucket*
The climax.
You only get presents from one set of grandparents.
Tsar Wars
The iPhone Ayyyye-t
Nostrildamus
winks seductively "Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."
A fried Chicken leg