How long have you felt like this?

Ever since I was a puppy!

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Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

How about an office party?

ME: crosses out "replace coworkers with puppies" I guess

What's the difference between a puppy and a kernel of corn?

Nothing. They both explode when nuked in the microwave.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the cookie cry?

It was feeling crumby.

Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter?

Because they dress in lairs.