How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

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How do you find a girl with no legs?

Follow the slime trail.

How can you find out the gender of an ant?

Throw it in the water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant

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What's the difference between a feminist and a doormat?

You might try and knock some mud off on the sidewalk before you step on the doormat.

What do you call a potato that's reluctant to try new things?

A Hesi-tater

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What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uni-ball

Why such hate on Lance Armstrong?

I think his riding style is pretty dope.