How would you best describe him?

Me: He looks like a miniature cat

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Why does the Empire use Apple?

Because they couldn't find the droid they were looking for

What happened when Jesus forgot to look both ways?

He died on the cross!

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Why is Dave Mustaine described as "heavy metal"?

Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)

How do you describe people who tell "I see dead people" jokes?

They have a sixth sense of humor