What brand of vodka does a Canadian drink?

Grey Moose

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What do you call a canadian girl that can not sing?

Justin Bieber

What will you have?

The seals says, "Anything but a Canadian Club."

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What brand of shoes does a paranoid person wear?

Sketchers

What brand should suicidal people clearly avoid?

Nike. Their motto says just "Just do it".

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What's the big deal about jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

What did the bartender day to the man who was drinking his vodka to fast?

Stop "Russian"