What did Mr. Burns bring to the pot luck?

Eggsalad

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue drinking tea?

Because he didn't wait for it to be cool.

What do you call a hippie that can't cook?

Burning ham!

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What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

How many guys does it take to open a beer?

None, it should be open when she brings it to you.