What did Redditor Jesus say to Lazarus?

I see your dead body and raise you back to life (NSFL)

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why didn't the astronauts land on the moon?

Because it was full. * (from a taffy taffy wrapper--oh my god what am I doing with my life)

What happened when the Easter Bunny caught his head in the fan?

It took ears off his life!

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

How do you raise a baby elephant ?

With a fork lift truck !

Why was the horse farmer arrested?

He was raising a colt.

Dead Body Jokes More Dead Body Jokes

What prize did the dead body receive?

Atrophy

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent