What did the fancy cat say when he wanted to leave?

Le meow

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What did the computer say to the pirate?

Want to date hot Russians!

Why did Greenpeace throw Wolf Blitzer in the ocean?

they wanted to restore the CNNomies

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Why did the skeleton leave the party?

Because everyone was calling him a bone-head. (I was 6 when I came up with that).

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats