What did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date?

Shore.

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What did the doctor tell a welder when the welder asked if his girlfriend(a pilot) using alternative lube was giving him erectile dysfunction?

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

How do you give a quadriplegic a headache?

Ask him to hold open the elevator door

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What's it called when a super model wants to date an accountant?

Wishful thinking. Obviously

Why should you never date someone with a lazy-eye...?

Because you never know if they're seeing someone on the side.

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What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved.

What do the Syrian refugees and water have in common?

They both keep trying to get on our shores....