What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees?

If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!

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Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend?

When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job.

Succeed Jokes More Succeed Jokes

Why will the ghost never succeed in life?

He's too eeriesponsible!!!!

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard."

Employee Jokes More Employee Jokes

Why did the gifting company fire their last employee ?

Because they got a bad wrap.

Why should we hire you?

Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison.