What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

HeHe

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What did Drake Bell say to Batman?

Sorry, still calling you Bruce! I found this on Facebook somewhere; I dunno who to get credit to.

Which chemical compound are you most likely to find at a frat party?

Hydrogen mide.

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What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree?

A gorilla pooped on his face.

How does a scientist make a hormone?

The same way I do: don't pay her!

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Why do scientists call Helium , Barium and Curium the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium , You'd Barium!

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

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What's a Jackhammer's Best Friend?

Cast Steel! Bahahahahah! You know! Cause it has a poor dampening value it vibrates so much! They um. They both vibrate. Well ok. One vibrates, the other reciprocates. That's kinda... Hehe. Heh. Reciprocate my humor damn it!

What's the best part of an ISIS joke?

The Execution. Hehe...get it? No? Fine I'll be-heading off now.