What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common?

The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

What happens if you play a country song backward?

You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up.

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

I've cod a cold."

What does a pirate do when he has a cold?

Arrr make tea

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?

Just-ice

Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?

Because icing is not allowed.