What do reindeer say before telling you a joke ?

This one will sleigh you !

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What sweetie?

Tell who what ! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..

How do you make an internet addict wait?

I'll tell you later.

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What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine.

Whats a mans favorite word that starts with 'm' and ends in 'arriage'?

A miscarriage! This joke never gets old, just like the baby!

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Which reindeer have the shortest legs?

The smallest ones.

What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky?

Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer.

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Why doesn't Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig?

Pigs don't have red noses.

Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January?

Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat.