What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?

Lost

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What's not there when you get into an argument, but there when you lose the argument?

The door.

What's worse than losing one arm?

Losing both your arms.

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What kind of ant can count?

An account*ant*.

How do you know accountants have no imagination?

They named a firm PricewaterhouseCoopers.

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What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?

Lost

Why do you love me?

Wife: *shrugs* Me: Why do you find me annoying Wife: *reveals six spreadsheets and a pie chart*