What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

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Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?

A: So the cops can find the handles.

What did the Chinese man say when he found out his mother died?

I can't bereave it!

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Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out?

On the Yeast Side.

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What is Chipotle most known for?

A. Steak Bowls - B. Delicious Tacos - C. Chips - D. Burritos - E. Coli

When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."