Bacteria Jokes

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What's the difference between bacteria and rednecks?

When looking at bacteria you can actually find some culture.

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?

Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)

Where do bacteria go when they die?

St. Petri Dish.

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

Why do bacteria congregate in public places?

It's a part of their culture.

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out?

On the Yeast Side.

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Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What food is good for the brain?

Noodle soup.

How do Muslims like their food served?

Allah Carte

Exchange Jokes More Exchange Jokes

What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange?

Check, mate!

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?

Exchange him.

Microscope Jokes More Microscope Jokes

Why did the germ cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide!

What did the perverted embryonic scientist say to the microscope?

Are those my genes because I can definitely see myself in them."

Applause Jokes More Applause Jokes

What do you call a terrible performance of Han Solo: The Musical?

A rebel without applause.

Why don't asians like to applause?

Because every time they do all they do is crap

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

What happened to the man who died from drinking Shellac?

He had a *lovely finish*.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why were people angry wen the chiken crossed the rd?

Cus he looked one way, then another way after.

Why can't Mexicans win the Olympics?

Because every one that can run, jump or swim has already crossed the border.

Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

What did Sherwock say to Watsun while vacationing in Tokyo?

Well done, old Jap.

What did the one llama say to the other before they went on vacation?

ALPACA BAG

Chipotle Jokes More Chipotle Jokes

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

What do you call a voucher for complimentary Chipotle?

free coli