When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How would you define yourself?

ME: *don't let her know you're a delicious chocolate cake* Moist

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

Pause Jokes More Pause Jokes

How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?

pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

Guacamole Jokes More Guacamole Jokes

How many moles are in a guacamole?

Avacado's number.

Why are you being so distant?

Me: Why didn't you order a side of guacamole

Chipotle Jokes More Chipotle Jokes

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

What do they call Chipotle in Canada?

Chipotl-eh

Financial Advisor Jokes More Financial Advisor Jokes

What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."