What do you call pants that can fly?

Peter Pants I just made it up

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What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What did the bird say when he flew over K-Mart?

Caw Caw why'd my natural habitat get replaced with 165 000 square feet of consumerist wasteland lol

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What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?

He wanted a spare in case he had a split.