What do you do if your daughter starts smoking?

Slow down and use lube.

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What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

What satellite TV provider does ISIS use?

Daesh Network

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Why are your nails painted two different colors?

Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it

What do you do if your daughter starts smoking?

Slow down and use lube.