Daughter Jokes

What would be a good name for my daughter who is a synth?

Synthia

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What did Ned Stark say when his daughter told him that she was pregnant?

Are ya?

Why did the man name his daughter Candy?

She was the sweetest mistake he ever made.

How did the farmer find his daughter?

He Tractor.

What did the weeaboo Southerner name his daughter?

Anna May

What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!

What do you call someone who slaps their siblings daughter?

A niece slapper.

What do you call a dead skunk?

A stunk. My daughter made this up when she was about 7 years old. I thought it was incredible clever.

Why did Mr. Steaks decide he would take his wife's surname?

Because he didn't want his daughters to be called Ms. Steaks.

What do you do if your daughter gets dirty in the laundry room?

You washer and dryer.

What do you do if your daughter starts smoking?

Slow down and use lube.

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What did Harry Potter name his daughter?

Harry Daughter.

What did Michael Jackson almost name his daughter?

Nata-LEE-HEE!

How did a mom figure out her daughter had hit puberty?

She kept wetting the bed.

Why did the lime disapprove of his daughter?

Because she was a little tart.

What did the black horse name its daughter?

Sha-neigh-neigh. Thought of it at work.

What did the viola say to her daughter before crossing the street?

You better C or you'll B

What do you get when you are the daughter of Rodney Dangerfield and Aretha Franklin?

No R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

What did the Chinese man give his daughter?

A clothes hanger.

What did the hamburger name his daughter?

Patty

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Sue

What's black and married to my daughter?

Nothing because I'm a good parent.

What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?

Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!

What is The Rock going to name his Daughter?

Pebbles!

What did the cheeseburger name her daughter?

Patty.

What does a rock do all day?

Nothing. (this joke was made by daughter when she was 5)

How did the Otaku Redneck guy name his daughter?

Annie Mae

Why is your shirt on wrong?

Daughter: I think you old people call it: "second base"

Why was Mr. Behaving sad?

His daughter was always Ms. Behaving.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?

my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome

What did the radiographer call her daughter?

Imogen

What's the difference between my daughter and my wife?

I need viagra to maintain erection with my wife.

This joke may have profanity.

Why are your nails painted two different colors?

Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it

What did Mr &amp Mrs Rockmelon say to their daughter when she wanted to run off with Johnny Watermelon?

A: But you cantaloupe!

Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels?

She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.

What is your relationship with the plaintiff?

A: She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13 1979

What's the difference between work and your daughter?

I'm not coming into work this morning!"

What did the dad say when his daughter gave him gravel for his birthday?

Thanks for sediments

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

What are your intentions with our daughter?

Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me

Why so long face?

Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."

Who's there ! Anderson ! Anderson who ?

Anderson and daughter came too !

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

How did Bill Cosby find his daughter in the woods?

A: Pretty good

What do you mean the school must be haunted ?

Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

What's the difference between this morning and your daughter...?

Slightly nsfw) His boss answers "I don't know." The employee replies "I'm not coming in this morning!"

This joke may have profanity.

What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter?

Amanda Lynn

Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?

Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"

What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway?

I don't want to plow my driveway

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT ! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

Why did the musician give his daughters the same name?

So he could yell "Anna 1, Anna 2!"

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Anna Jokes More Anna Jokes

Why did the musician give his daughters the same name?

So he could yell "Anna 1, Anna 2!"

Why didn't Anna and Elsa's parents teach them the alphabet?

Because they got lost at C.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

What do you do with an infected chemist?

You try to Curium. If that doesn't work and he dies, then Barium

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit.

Why is Windows going from 8 to 10?

Because 7 ate 9. Credit to a guy I work with.

Nicolas Cage Jokes More Nicolas Cage Jokes

Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud?

He doesn't know how to turn things down

What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through?

Oh God, not the B's!

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?

Hold on, let me get my bear rings."

What did Jay-Z call Knowles before getting married?

his biance

Legendairy Jokes More Legendairy Jokes

What do you call a mythical milkshake?

Legendairy (credits to my friend Edward Feng for this really dumb pun)

What do you call a cow that will go down in history?

Legendairy From my young daughter

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What would a piggy-bank say if it could talk?

Coink! Coink!

How can you tell an introverted Techie from an extroverted Techie?

An extroverted Techie looks at *your* shoes when he's talking to you.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

How do you stop a baby from walking in circles?

Pin its other hand to the ground.