I can't tell if i like this blender...

It keeps giving me mixed results.

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What does a PASCAL programmer say to a C programmer?

A: "Would you like fries with that "

What is the difference between a philanthropist and Nicki Minaj?

A philanthropist likes to impress people with his larg**esse**! :-P

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Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

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I can't tell if i like this blender...

It keeps giving me mixed results.

What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender?

A: Rhesus Pieces.