What do you get for the women who has everything?

A divorce, then she'll only have half of everything.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why do women need to wear jockstraps while skydiving?

To prevent them from whistling.

What did the woman from Finland say after seeing an old man fall in the water, knowing he couldn't swim?

Oh no, Helsinki! He Finnish!"

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why did the kid only water half the lawn?

Because there was a 50% chance of rain

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a cat.