What do you give someone who is about to tear up?

Tape

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Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What's the best part about showering with a 5 year-old?

The water washes away her tears

What does a gift and a black man have in common?

White children get immense joy after tearing one open

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?

A whale with a table taped to it.

Why did this adhesive strip quit his work?

He just couldn't tape it anymore..