What do you give someone who is about to tear up?

Tape

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Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and baby Alien?

One bursts into tears. The other bursts out of tears

Who's there? Dave. Dave who?

Dave promptly burst into tears as not everyone in the world knew Dave.

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

How do you suffocate a redneck?

Tape his mouth shut.

Why did this adhesive strip quit his work?

He just couldn't tape it anymore..