What do you tell a slow tomato?

what Ketchup

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How do you tell an Italian has a flat tire?

Diego wop wop wop .

What do you tell a hitchhiker with one leg?

Hop in

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What do you call pasta with ketchup?

Spaghetto Ba-dum tss.

What happens when you mix mustard and ketchup together?

it's must-up ..