What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?

I haven't seen you for a year!

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Why do women make bad engineers?

Their whole lives they have been told 5 inches is 8

How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

Why is it called finding nemo?

been wondering for years

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

New Year Eve Jokes More New Year Eve Jokes

What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve?

Social Security.

What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Lang Swine.