What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?

I haven't seen you for a year!

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Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills?

Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....

How do you know the name of a Pokemon?

It will tell you.

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What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year?

Patty O'Furniture

I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...

The sails are going through the roof.

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What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?

I haven't seen you for a year!

What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve?

Social Security.