What does a conspiracy theorist say when he breaks up with someone?

I think we should start seeing other sheeple."

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What's worse?

Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else

How did the road break its ankles?

The chicken crossed it.

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How does a black woman know that she's pregnant?

The baby starts picking cotton off her tampons. (aaannnd i'll see myself out)

How does every ethnic joke start?

By looking over your shoulder.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why can't you be the king I know?

The king you have inside you SIMBA: That doesn't make sense. I think I'd remember if I ate a king.

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-nile.

Conspiracy Theorist Jokes More Conspiracy Theorist Jokes

Why didn't the conspiracy theorist make his irreverently named pet sleep outside?

Because 9/11 was an inside dog.

Why do conspiracy theorists have such long beards?

Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor