Conspiracy Theorist Jokes

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

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How do conspiracy theorists like their lovers?

Illumi-naughty

What does a conspiracy theorist say when he breaks up with someone?

I think we should start seeing other sheeple."

Why do conspiracy theorists have such long beards?

Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor

What's the difference between a skeptic and a conspiracy theorist?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)

What did the giraffe say to the conspiracy theorist?

Nothing, giraffes aren't real.

Why didn't the conspiracy theorist make his irreverently named pet sleep outside?

Because 9/11 was an inside dog.

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Where in the hell are Dora the Explorer's parents?

Do they know she's riding a damn crocodile into a volcano

Why are law students known for drinking?

They are getting ready for the Bar exam.

Suggest Jokes More Suggest Jokes

Which phone??

Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't Ganondorf use the Internet?

There's too many Links.

What is the main material used in the manufacture of TIE fighters?

TIE tanium

Illumi Jokes More Illumi Jokes

Why didn't Santa give presents to any world leaders?

Because he thinks they're part of the illumi-naughty

How do conspiracy theorists like their lovers?

Illumi-naughty

Truth Jokes More Truth Jokes

Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

What do you get when you intersect two planes?

A national travesty.

What did the left tower say to the right tower?

I gotta catch a plane

Occam Jokes More Occam Jokes

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

What do logicians use to shave?

Occam's razor

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did the ascetic say when he broke his fast?

OC I think I'll go on a diet!

What did Reddit almost change their name to during the Victoria controversy?

Blueit. -just thought of it, sorry its a little late to the party