What does a philosopher put his/her food on?

A contemplate

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Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Contemplate Jokes More Contemplate Jokes

Why was the cab driver contemplating his life?

Because he had nothing to chauffeur.

What does a philosopher put his/her food on?

A contemplate