What does a philosopher put his/her food on?

A contemplate

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What time do philosophers like to visit the shopping mall?

At the Schopenhauer.

Why Do Philosophers Have Such Good Teeth?

Because they philos all the time!

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What does a philosopher put his/her food on?

A contemplate

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.