What does a scientologist and an almond have in common?

They are both nuts.

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Almond Jokes More Almond Jokes

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.

What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

Scientologist Jokes More Scientologist Jokes

What's a Scientologist's favourite piece of furniture in Rivendell?

Elrond's cupboard.

What does a scientologist and an almond have in common?

They are both nuts.