What does a scientologist and an almond have in common?

They are both nuts.

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Almond Jokes More Almond Jokes

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.

Scientologist Jokes More Scientologist Jokes

What would you get if you cross breed a Borg with a Ferengi?

A scientologist.

How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb?

What suppressive told you to change the light bulb Report to Ethics immediately!